Community

Community. I have been wrestling with this word for a few weeks. I read something that triggered old heartache, insecurities, feelings of not belonging. I live in a conservative Midwest, family oriented city and as a 30-something single, I often find myself wondering where I fit. It’s not an easy topic to tackle, human nature is to gravitate towards sameness. For several years I was in a situation where I was the odd man out because I wasn’t married with kids. And I admit I’ve swung the other way now, partly in response to that, where I’m surrounded mostly with singles in my stage of life. And while it’s been a breath of fresh air, I know there needs to be a middle ground. So I’ve been mulling over this word and what it should mean when lived out.

Community is defined as a group of men or women leading a common life according to a rule. Fellowship, the word used for the early church in the New Testament, is defined as an association of people who share common beliefs or activities.

If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.
Philippians 2:1-4 (The Message version)

An excerpt from the book Now and Not Yet by Jennifer A. Marshall (not me) discusses the corporate responsibility of the church to singles but applies to community as a whole:
“Being single-sensitive does not necessarily require launching more programs and groups defined by age or marital status; it can be accomplished through the intentional integration of singles into the body of the congregation as a whole. The activities of the church should place value on interaction across generations and stations in life. The body of Christ is made up of people from different situations interacting and sharing a common life.”

I look at friends in other places who seem to have successfully incorporated couples, married with kids, and singles in their daily lives. I get jealous when I see that kind of community. Yet God has opened my eyes in the last few weeks as I’ve wrestled with this to show me the community I have around me – it’s not as dire a situation as I thought. I also realize I have a responsibility to create community. I have to be vulnerable and share my daily struggles. I have to make an effort to invite people in, to establish relationships with them. I can’t lay the responsibility for creating community solely on someone else – I have a role to play. I have to invite people in as well as be available when they ask. I also have to make an effort to be intentional in seeking diverse community.
I don’t have great answers to my questions but I know that I have to be intentional, responsible, vulnerable, and available.

The ordinary

Well, I don’t have anything exciting to relate with me. Life has been fairly routine lately. That’s not a bad thing, but there just doesn’t seem to be much outside of ordinary life.

I had high tea Saturday with Heather at Aunt Hattie’s Tea Room. It was delicious and we were stuffed with cold strawberry soup, tea sandwiches, chocolate covered strawberries, and scones with clotted cream and lemon curd. Yum!

I started projects that are more time consuming than expected. I began loading my cds into iTunes. This is a big job since I have about 150 cds. I have about 1/3 loaded so far. I did what was only right & proper and loaded my Waterdeep collection in first. Spring cleaning purge feeling is coming on. I'm going through 2 years worth of magazines (Real Simple, Better Homes & Gardens, and Midwest Living) and ripping out only the recipes & gardening info I want to keep and recycling the rest. I’m compiling the clippings in a notebook. Doing taxes last week meant purge time for the filing cabinet and a garbage bag full of the shreddings.

Among my friends there were 5 babies (welcome Gavin, Eli, Levi, Nathan & Isabella) and 1 engagement (congrats Amy!) in a week’s time.

I'm a happy girl

I have hope that spring is coming. We’re experiencing days of 20-30 mph winds. This typically signals the change of seasons in Wichita.

The iPod is christened. After a week of fighting with my very uncooperative computer and help from Dave in diagnosing problems, I finally got everything up & running properly & was able to transfer songs to that sweet little device.

I finished my taxes. I use Turbo Tax. I like watching the little corner box go from “you owe $X” to “you get $Y refund” as I enter deductions.

And I finished a little project. At the beginning of last year I was inspired to make vintage-look aprons. Made ones for my mom & sisters last January. I bought fabric to make myself one but then never got around to it. I finally pulled it out last week and started on it. So happy with the end result.

As Ren & Stimpy would say, “Happy, happy, joy, joy.”

my new toy

I bought an iPod nano on Friday. I had saved Christmas & birthday money to get it. Now I need to actually open the box. I know that gives you gadget people heart palpitations. But it would have consumed my whole weekend and I had a long to-do list. I need to set aside a few hours to mess with setting it up. I promise I'll be better than when I bought the dvd recorder last year and took a month to get it out of the box.

Rocky Mountain High

I had the opportunity to go skiing this past weekend with a group of friends from church. I hadn’t expected to get to ski this year and was thrilled at the chance to go along. We went to Breckenridge, Colorado and stayed in a ski-in/ski-out condo. It was a blast.

The drive out Thursday got interesting west of Denver when we hit a snow storm. The highway was down to one lane of traffic. I was thankful I wasn’t driving. We made it slowly but safely to the condo. Friday morning the weather wasn’t bad. Skied in a lot of powder that day. It takes a lot of effort but it was neat to go down a run with 12 inches of fresh powder and only 2 sets of ski tracks. That was also where I fell 3 times – one of which was a face plant. I had to look around to find the ski that came off – could barely see the binding sticking out of the snow. The afternoon became very overcast with wind gusts that sent snow blowing. The face mask I bought was worth every penny. Yes, that's me and I don't know why I smiled for the picture.

Saturday and Sunday were clear, gorgeous days. Amazing views from the top of the mountain. Sunday was my favorite day of skiing. I skied with a small group that was just my speed. We were hauling it down the blues on Peak 7. It was so much fun.

Two Voices

Two incredible voices – Reba McEntire and Kelly Clarkson. I attended their concert on Thursday night. Wow. Reba & Kelly were on stage together for almost 2 solid hours. Neither of them ever left the stage. If it was Kelly’s song, Reba sang backup. If it was Reba’s song, Kelly sang backup. And they did a lot of duets. Their voices both sounded amazing, and they meld well together. It was fantastic to have the opportunity to listen to such talented ladies sing. Thoroughly enjoyable evening of entertainment. And now I need to add some Kelly cds to my collection.
If you’ve ever seen Reba’s sitcom, you know who Barbra Jean is. Melissa Peterman, who played Barbra Jean, opened the show with 30 minutes of standup comedy. The woman is hilarious. And when she busted in on Reba & Kelly later when they were about to sing the show’s theme song, Kelly was unable to keep from cracking up.

Listening to Reba & Kelly talk about their friendship and seeing their camaraderie, it made me think of how great an example of mentorship they are. A sharing of lives, a give & take, building each other up, offering advice. Lives can be changed by those types of relationships. We need to look around us to see who we can mentor, and just as importantly, who can mentor us – we need both.

nothin' but blue skies

Ah, the joys of a Kansas winter.
Today's predicted high is 71.
Tomorrow's? 37 + a chance of snow.
Lovely.